stranger at the bar.

came home from seattle with a bit of weight on my shoulders.  sadness had set over dc and my job.  but the dogs seemed happy for once in a couple years.  prayed about things and still fell apart.  had a teary conversation about the lack of a friend for 5 months and couldn't shake that little pain in my heart.  you know the one that just sits on top as a dull ache. every once in awhile it flashes a searing little switch across your chest.  after a couple days, you figure its a new part of getting old.  

its not like it sounds at all.  no one night stands or tequila included.  just a funny meeting at a perfect moment of need.   

yesterday i met hope for coffee at the 801 Eye building.  they have a cool bar with flat screen (CNN of course) and plug ins for your laptop.  i sat down and waited for hope right as another gentleman sat down with his laptop.  he was an alright looking, ladder 30's sort with married man's suit (you know what I mean nice, but not hot) and engraved gold wedding ring.  he had sort of a calm about him. dont ask me how i know, you could just feel it.

hope arrived and immediately we dove into the chaos that is our lives.  instantly i could feel my heart rate go up.  i was already a little sad, but would have rather talk about her stress than mine.  but she asked how i was, so i had to tell her.  i was hurt and little frustrated at the calm of one dear tall friend who was okay with not seeing me for 5 months.  how could that be if he really cares for me. . .

i could kind of see the gentleman across the way smirk just a bit as i exclaimed my frustration with what seemed to be a very confusing situation.  finally i stopped talking (was getting kind of worked up anyway) and looked his way.  he said,"do you want me to ignore what i am hearing or would like my opinion?".  i laughed.  not sure hope thought it was that funny, but i wanted to hear a grown up man's perspective on my frustration.  

first he said, you are frustrated with a man, right?  i said yes.  he said, then you need to get translation from a man, not a woman.  ok?  maybe, keep talking.  you are stranger, but lets hear it.  with a little more background (age, occupation, etc), he presented a perspective that actually made sense. he said, when a man finds someone he feels he has a future with, 5 months is nothing in the grand scheme of life.  this short time of preparation and working things out is a tiny drop in the bucket a very full life.  

when he said that, the pain in my heart just went away.  its sounds totally ridiculous.  honestly this sweet friend of mine could in fact just be a beautiful season in what will definitely be a great life regardless.  but his words of confidence helped me relax and trust.  that searing ache completely vanished.  what do i really have to fear anyway?  

when i left we shook hands and he told me to follow my heart.  what a funny thing for a stranger to say.  odd that i would let a person i do not know affect me so, but i dont think it was an accident that we sat down across from each other.  thanks late 30's married man, with the funny smirk and honest opinion.  and thank you god for letting me heart be confident and comfortable.

psalm 139 was our bible study last night. . .probably should have read that verse a little earlier in the day. . .
no fear or heart aches necessary when i have such a great care provider.  jesus.

O LORD, you have searched me
       and you know me. ² You know when I sit and when I rise;
       you perceive my thoughts from afar.
 ³ You discern my going out and my lying down;
       you are familiar with all my ways.
 ⁴ Before a word is on my tongue
       you know it completely, O LORD.
 ⁵ You hem me in—behind and before;
       you have laid your hand upon me.
 ⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
       too lofty for me to attain.
 ⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?
       Where can I flee from your presence?
 ⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
       if I make my bed in the depths, ^[a] you are there.
 ⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
       if I settle on the far side of the sea,
 ¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
       your right hand will hold me fast.

Miss Cora took this pic at Walter's Bo Concept show a couple weeks ago.  Can you tell they are related?  She is his niece.=)  Pretty good for 6 years old, right?