peonies

ever seen peonies in bud state?  they are really pretty.  round and joyous.  but nothing exotic.  

as they bloom though, you are in for a royal treat. 

their layers start unfolding and you get to see more and more depth.  i always wonder if it will ever stop blooming.  usually its over a week of new layers being opened up to the sunshine each day. they unfold huge and gracious blossoms, until finally. ...

the center of the flower is exposed.  each one a little different, but every one almost surreal and gorgeous.  you just can't believe they started out as that little bud on the bush.  i am in total awe every time a peony puts on a show.

i feel like this amazing flower.  started out nice, but just a bud on a pretty bush.  as the weeks go by, i am slowing unfolding, petal by petal, getting little pieces of myself back.  oddly enough its a much less complex beauty that has set in in my life.  things are slowing down and opening up wide.  

i have felt a little bad about letting go of some of the things i felt contained status.  including being married to a not very nice husband.  at least i had a nice little rock on my finger.  ya know?

but i have been so worn out by all this status over that past years.  trying so hard to keep up a show of house and cars and nice happy couple.

i have been ashamed that things fell off the side of a cliff, never to return.  will i ever be whole again?

this morning i was looking thru some pictures of a recent furniture trade show (thank you Humanscale) and ran across something phenomenal.  Leonardo Da Vinci said.    Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.  

that statement just made me stop.  how true.  simple things make such a huge impact on me.  real relationships with people. a little extra time.  sweet coffee at le quotidien.  sunshine when i get home from work.  and little clean english basement with not crazy yellow on the walls. dogs who seem to think i am the greatest thing since sliced bread for no good reason.  a mom who calls just to tell me she loves me.

these are the things that really matter.

meanwhile the complexities and former status quo es are getting forgotten on along side the path.  because honestly none if gave me a future and a hope.  but these little beautiful things seem to help me along everyday.   

please God, give me continued appreciation for the simple and sophisticated weave of my little life.  

me and b at bens next door with mari and janet on saturday night.

sweetness.