my parents are a pbs special.

was chatting with a favorite friend the other night and i mentioned something about my mom and her new android.  i said, yeah, she is even instant messaging on que-que to her friend ting-ting in china.  he says, i am sorry can you say that again?  i said yeah, she is using que-que to talk to her friend ting-ting in china.  he says ok, just wanted make sure i heard that right.  yep, you did!
get me talking about robin and ricardo, or even malia and you are likely to hear some quirky tales of the everyday.
the night before i left for seattle, mari and malia had dinner together and hung out.
mom bought some beautiful menorah candles from israel for malia.
we assumed she had a menorah,of course.  did you know we went to a messianic jewish church for close to 12 years?  messianic means they are jews that believe in jesus, christian jews.  we celebrated the christian holidays and attended church on sundays.  the difference is we also celebrated the jewish high holidays and and they danced in a circle at the front of the church while we sang contemporary and old fashioned worship songs.
never really thought how off the wall that might have been to see.  kind of laughing in my head right now.  how did we ever find that church?  seriously?

so the best part about malia's menora candles?  she lights them and then applies the catholic sign of the cross as she holds the days' lit candle.  mari yells, malia WHAT are you doing??! you are not jewish or catholic for that matter!  malia looks at her sort of confused and says, i dont know.  i just like both.
goodness gracious.  i could not stop laughing.  its totally fair.  her best friend growing up is catholic and she did in fact spend the better part of her childhood celebrating rosh hashanah in bellevue with lot of people wearing yamakas.
my mom is mostly irish and my dad is mostly spanish.  both from non-practicing, but occasionally (and appropriately) catholic families. somehow, when they started going to church as 17 and 18 year olds, they didn't get the memo about their ethnicity and its practical religion.  thats the funny thing about robin and cardo.  they are aware sort of subconsciously of their backgrounds, it just doesn't stop them from reaching out.it amazing.

i remember as a kid having everyone from visiting professors, to missionaries from africa, to ex-nfl football players with pretty blonde wives at our house for dinner.  it was like growing up in a real life sesame street.

these days they spend a good portion of time teaching english (idioms) to international scholars at University Presbyterian in their global friends class.  funny, they finally go to a regular church, but have found a way to make it international. =)

i find myself doing similar things without even thinking about it. the other day at target this girl was waiting for help in line with me.  she seemed unusually patient for a dc resident.  when she finally spoke, her accent was strong, french.  she needed and adapter plug, but couldn't explain what it was for.  the guy at target was just a dumb kid. he didn't know how to help her.  so he just pointed over there somewhere.  i ran over there to see if they had what she needed.  i didn't think so.  caught up with her on the next aisle.  poor girl she was flustered now.  she says, i am sorry.  i have just come from france.  man do i understand that! i remember sweating bullets in the line at the grocery store in florence.  praying they didn't ask me questions i didn't know how to answer.  i tried to explain that she needed to walk over to best buy, but she was having a hard time.  so i said, come on, i will show you.  =)  after she walked into best buy, i thought, shoot i should have given her my card.  malia speaks great french and could have really helped her.  oh well.  i wonder what kind of outreach they have to global students in this city?  was talking to mari about it later and she just laughed.  oh, meris!  are you going to start another global friends in DC?!

recently i asked my dad why he quit hughes aircraft all those years ago in LA.  i knew he loved that job. he was working on spy craft satellites and all kinds of cool top secret stuff.  he said, well the next contract was creating nuclear weapons.  i didn't want to help proliferate nuclear weapons.  i couldn't participate in that.
huh?  i have to be honest.  i kind of pegged mom and dad for republicans because they were so strict with me.  i guess that meant their politics were conservative? i don't know.  stop laughing at me.
since that conversation, i have heard some very interesting comments on immigration reform and such.  ya know i think my mom is conservative, but my dad is total liberal.  how funny is that?  good variety even in the household. =)

this could go on forever, but for now, i am so, so grateful to have grown up the way i did.  perspective is priceless and i am lucky enough to have parents who understand that.  love you both very much.

a verse i actually skip over quite a bit, but there is a lot of content here. talking about saving the world.  pretty subaru driving stuff. =)  John 3.16-17

¹⁶ For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 

mom and dad circa 1977.  camping on the peninsula in washington state.  

dad and the dog circus.  ridiculous.  mari says we could open a zoo.  embarrassing, but true.

mom and dad at edmonds beach at sunset. thank you asian peace signs.

dad and his friend jaehak (and jaehak's son).  j's wife once joked that dad and jaehak must have been married in another life.  they loved each other so much.  haha!  of course they are hiking last winter in this shot.  

me and dad at westport a couple of winters ago.  i miss the pacific.  have i mentioned that?

mom and dad at maltby with mari, jesse and me last christmas.=)

dudes.

imagine you walk into starbucks, followed by a rutty looking british gentlemen.  then you order and he says you must be as crazy as me with 2 dogs in the car. . .. he has a big hairy dog in the back of his mercedes suv.
we chat back and forth for a minute before he politely touches the arm of my jacket and says have a good day.
after a moment of looking he appears to be late 50s, ripped polo sweatshirt, northface-ish over coat and muddy (expensive) boots.  he says you should bring your dogs to my farm. . .
sounds ridiculous, but this kind of thing seems to happen here all the time.  what a weird age i am (32, by the way =)).  obviously not in college anymore, no wedding ring and dragging a couple of hounds with me everywhere.  I really dont know what the real trigger is, except that i am a girl of moderate fitness and no ring.  in georgetown that is pretty hard to come by.
you are either a 20 year old georgetown, au or gw college girl who hasn't been pinned yet by some pressed khaki wearing boy of a good blood line or already married with 1 and 1/2 kids, a rock and a rover.
there does however seem to be an inordinate amount of bachelors between the age of 38-60.  most of them seem actually pretty likeable.  surely divorced or just been married to their business for the last 20 years.  most of them moderately attend church and are actually ethnically much more diverse than the whole of georgetown.
most are medium height and of average looks, but above average achievements for sure.
i find it super fascinating.  they are equal parts proud, accomplished and fragile, but mostly sincere.  maybe its the age?  all i can say is if you are looking for an older, wealthy, okay looking husband, this is your spot.   bummer, i am not into the sugar daddy thing.  and no i am not going to his farm. =)

update on my solo mission in dc for the holiday.  i have made it to the whitehouse for the first time.  very cool.  fabulous choir was singing christmas carols and hymns.  and i did tour about 1/2 of the national gallery of art.  got to go back later this week. its huge!  some unexpectedly beautiful photographs and paintings by a couple of british artists.  love it.  can't believe they just let you walk in.  amazing.
tour of the east wing of the whitehouse all dressed up for christmas.

just beautiful.  swags and fresh greens everywhere.  

thank you to the nice indian lady that took this blurry pic of me.  atleast i have proof i was there.  this room was decorated in blue and silver.  the next room was all read velvet.  really quite cool.

me in front the whitehouse after the tour.  that is the front.  they let me in.  actually the last guard to check my id  had the last name of benitez.  awesome. we are everywhere! =)

my little corner unit

thank god for a cubicle at work.

never thought i would enjoy this real estate so much. think i might even come back here tonight.

i suck at being by myself.  not quite sure what i was thinking.  buck up!

got plenty to do!

Silly pitty.

i went to court to day. as you can see below. =) definitely in the top 5 of make you want to jump off a bridge category.  i dont know why it was so bad, but it was.  my attorney actually did his do, despite his slight inappropriateness towards me.  and the trustee lady didn't seem to hate me.  in fact i think between my attorney and the trustee they are going to help me reduce my expenses more than i thought. thank you lord!

so i was second to last on the docket.  guess when you reschedule they make sure you go after everyone else.
but it was interesting to watch the other cases and then there was hardly anyone else to hear my business when my turn came.

it was awful to hear some of the peoples' situations.  one man (probably early 50's and single) had counted his Keno losses as a financial loss last year.  the trustee even asked him, sir "do you gamble?".  my lawyer laughed out loud.  oops.  but he said yes.  we even got to hear how much money you make, how much you paid for your house and how many cars you own.  it is was 1000% demoralizing for everyone in there.
but everyones reactions were different.  the gamblin man seems sorry, but not sorry enough to stop gambling.  it was strange.  and his attorney had messed up his forms so badly, they really couldnt file anything.
another lady had a live in man with no job, 3 kids, and a mother living with her.  she made ok money, but they said she had to count her mothers income and that would mean she would have too much money to file this type of bankruptcy.  she looked so stressed out.  why was all of this on her?
another women came on her own, whilst her 2 time bankruptcy filing husband "worked".  as she stated it was irregular.  however, she makes $100,000+ and they seemed to own about 5 properties.
one single middle aged man said he owed his mortgage company about $78,000 in back payments.  he had lost his job over 2 years ago and hadn't paid his mortgage since.

the last lady, that really got me was the lady who said she paid $500 a month to her church, but hadn't paid her mortgage in close to a year.  the trustee tried to poke a bit at that and eventually asked for proof of her payment to the church.  i just couldn't believe how long these people had gone without paying their bills.  it was insane.  i would be floater after dealing with that many creditors for that period of time.

my number finally got called and i had already had about 3 strokes, so there really wasn't any blood left in my body.  and somehow we got thru it.  still not complete, but i think my time in front of the judge is.

if anything, i just wish i wasn't here by myself right now.  today would have been a really, really nice day to go to happy hour after work and medicate my worries a little bit.  but i am not hard up enough to go to a bar by myself.  thats a little over the line. =)

i think i am going to be okay and this mess will be cleared up in much less time than expected and i still own a house.  i can't help but feel a little pitiful still.  sorry.  working on it.

Court.

I didn't die. I do want to throw up. My attorney although crazy, is smart. And if I am not mistaken he actually hit on me while we were waiting for the Trustee.
I know I am not, but I feel very alone.

weekly smart comments

this has been a funny week.  hosted a showroom tour for a nonprofit bank advisory organization and had my first meeting with National Air and Space Museum folks out in Chantilly.
both were very successful and it was super fun to walk around the space shuttle and huge boeing jets up close.  dad would love that place. =)

think i am gonna have to start a smarty comments file.  got a great one from both meetings.

first, was one of the executives at the banking firm.  they were surprisingly fun.  at the second stop we were looking at casegoods for their private offices.  this manufacturer wasn't quite as impressive.  one of the gentlemen really like the modern (mixed materials, metal and glass) desk unit.  he says, but I can see this wont work.  in our industry we prefer to go backwards.  smirk.  haha!

second case, group tour of the NASM facility to view the different areas of furniture installation.  archives, collections, even the place where they restore old war planes for museum use.  so cool.  very, very cool paint booth with windows at the bottom so they can see the bottom of the airplane belly while they are repairing the paint.
currently the departments are spread out over dc and maryland, all over the place really.  walking down the hall and the facilities manager says, yah maryland.  that place is like chernobyl in places.  I used to live there, but i got a visa and moved virginia.  i will keep renewing my visa, i am never living there again.  nice!  i dont care for maryland myself, but that is awesome.  maryland is like a nuclear waste site.  that is high quality! sorry, not trying to drive down house values.  i am sure it is a very nice place to live.  besides the fruits and veggies are just huge!

museum hopping for work.  nasm.

have a great day dudes.
m

hockey and progress

so i guess blood and missing teeth isnt really progress. =)  and i actually didn't go to the caps game last night. but Hope and Terry did.  so i got to kidnap their kiddos for the evening.  i knew we would have fun.
but I didn't expect so much.  you know what?  they are they coolest kids i know.
I asked what we should have for dinner and ran the thru the typical kid stuff first.  Pizza, Chinese, then Sushi. . .
Both Payton and Hailey jumped at the chance to eat sushi.  awesome. hadn't expected that!  we were all three excited to descend on my favorite little joint in palisade (kotobuki).  cheap, fresh sushi and real japanese people.

we got there ordered miso and way too many spicy tuna rolls.  (which reminds me, I have them in my fridge for dinner!)  both girls chatted about random kid stuff and we even planned our brilliant Christmas dinner.
complete with dishes and who is in charge of those dishes.  Hailey will be our production gal, with menus, place settings and a bit of help in sweet potato dept.  Payton is in charge of mashed potatoes, cheesecake, and she can help me with the salad.  you know they both like avocado?  these girls are definitely related. =)
after our healthy dinner, we decided a royal dessert was in order.  while walking back to the car i learned just how many junior high and high schoolers have been throwing up in school and concerts lately. apparently a lot.  hahaha.  kids are so freaking cool.

we jetted back to georgetown and landed at La Madeleine.  we pretty much had one of each. fruit tart, lemon tart, sacher torte, anna's cake (german chocolate).  hot chocolate, decaf cappuccino and decaf americano.  the guy made the most beautiful cappuccino I have seen in a long time!  tried to get to urban outfitters, but as per usual closed at 9pm and we were just too late.  so barnes and noble.  i love books.  so we all three got a book to go.  hailey a soapy looking kid novel (Princess for Hire), payton a teenage creeper, romancy thing (matched), and me another inspirational biography of a gentleman in africa creating wind energy.

got back to chinatown just as mom and dad were ready to roll home.  hailey jumped out of the car and told her mom with great enthusiasm that we ate japanese for dinner and french for dessert.  yeah!  they had as much fun as me. =)

Hailey girl and Payton, dessert!

On the life and job front.  I feel back on track.  Maybe not in decision making, but atleast in praying about it and working towards the great future.  Whatever that is.  I made strides in the direction of a new job in the west this week and I got to Bible study on Tuesday.  It really helps.  I do in fact need Jesus.

^{Malia read 1 Thessalonians 5.  Two great parts to this scripture.  First Give Thanks to God, not for your trials, but in your trials. I am not happy about my super struggles, but I am so happy to be alive and have such a wonderful network of friends and family.}  

^{Best part is the testing everything!  It says not to "treat prophecies with contempt", but test everything.  Really that is okay? Cause I do it, whether its good or not.}  

^{I Thessalonians 5}

⁸ But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet. ⁹ For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. ¹⁰ He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with him. ¹¹ Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.
Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

 ¹⁹ Do not quench the Spirit. ²⁰ Do not treat prophecies with contempt ²¹ but test them all; hold on to what is good, ²² reject every kind of evil.

back in the kitchen at maris.  she made weekend white bean.  fantastic pasta with italian sausage and herbs.  we decided an epicurious recipe should only be make on the weekend. dang their recipes are serious.  we appreciated it though! =)  

when in doubt

had a wonderful birthday and time in the motherland. now i am actually pretty sad.  glad to go home. but even more sad to leave with no new brilliant marker in the road to say i know what i am going to do.  i really don't.  God, what the heck are you trying to show me?  if you could wrap it up and put the answer under my christmas tree in georgetown.  that would be amazing.  i promise i wont open it until christmas day.
merissa

Mary and Me and the famous  Christmas Tea.  I made it!  =)  And check my front door for the very avant garde wreath me and my design education thought of.  Dont worry you will like it in a couple years when everyone is doing it!

Getting ready to land in seattle. For once I am praying that every minute goes by slowly. Very slowly. =)

Have emerged from my state of complaint. Jesus, thank you for making me whole when I am so obviously not. I am so grateful for your care. -merissa

kid thanksgiving

Finally I get some proof our pretty cool thanksgiving. Jesse, fine friend that he is, was holding the pictures hostage.
Was hoping these would serve as a record and cut down on the whining (on my behalf). Seem to forget pretty quick how good things are. so here we go!

Mari and I started cooking the night before. . .

24 hour salad.  very important marshmallows need time to relax.

cooking in tahiti, aka mari's apt.  add food fiesta and you got phoenix.

cranberry tart!  i did it too.  proud. =)

 Thanksgiving day Brunch.  Pumpkin Cinnamon Rolls.  New Tradition!

li and me drinking coffee slow after a pumpkin roll.

there weren't any leftover.  think they were really good!

 The Big Turkey Event!

Courtland called this the clown car.  Mari's little hallway kitchen and people just kept appearing from this tiny space.  We cooked a pretty awesome meal in that clown car. =)

Instigators.

Jesse just figured out he is in charge of carving the bird.  no pressure.

15 dishes of food and 9 people.  we rocked thanksgiving. 

connie is disgusted by one of our comments. i am sure. =)

pretty janet and mark helping clean up.

thxgiving crew from the left:  mark, courtland jr (mari's cousin), me, malia, mari, jesse, janet, maureen (courtland's girlfriend)

jesse and the chicas.

Friday afternoon at frederick douglass's house: mari in front of his growlery. yep. just like it sounds.  he went there to scream.  i am getting one of those!

Saturday morning at the washington monument.

little chilly.

cool view of the lincoln memorial

windy.

whitehouse view from the top of the washington monument.

Sunday:  first fire in my fireplace. 

beginnings of a christmas tree.

unsolicited encouragement. =)

6 is the new 8. In hours of sleep that is. . .

Did I mention a contract with the Smithsonian yesterday!

and I get to flee the island for a few days. =)

I feel a renewed sense of confidence. Lord help me keep a cap on this self assured ness. Pride comes before the fall, you know. Maybe its just Friday

if God is for us. . .

then who can be against us?

feels like everyone. . .

but i know this is true:


³⁸ For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[k] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹ neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


romans 8.28,38-39


have a good day guys.

this is what is against me today.  what an appropriate name for this project. . .CSBS. . .

Trying to be good grown up

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and other nightmares. . .

ok.  i know i shouldn't watch any of it.  have seen a couple of the dc housewives because i wanted to see how dc is portrayed.  last night i was practicing my expertise with the remote control and the beverly hills troop came on.  well they are definitely not disproving an theories on LA and plastic surgery. holy crap can someone tell the girl with sort of carmelly colored hair that her lips are not even attached to her face anymore.  i could not stop staring.  it was as if they were their own piece of being.  yuck and half.
not to mention, if you thought the real ladies of the oc were shallow and baseless, the bh chicas got em beat for sure.
dude, they make me want to stop bathing and drive a corolla, just to get as far away from their horrific attitudes and lives as possible.  felt terribly sorry for camille, kelsey grammar's wife (or exwife? I am confused).
there was no real life there at all. fake, all fake.  i am gonna spit up if i keep thinking about it!

maybe thats how the nightmare session got started.  aren't we all supposed to want to be a stay at home mom, with gucci shoes, one curly haired baby, eight nannies, and a house manager to help us while we are not bothering to parent our children?  not to mention having no relationship whatsoever with our very rich and elusive spouse.  so disgusted by the whole "real" housewives concept.  never! never!

i did have quite a nightmare.  not sure if i screamed and cried for real, but i think my eyes were pretty puffy when i woke up.  had dream that rodney showed up at my door and all the sudden was transported back to premarriage niceness.  i was skeptical at first, but let him in.  we talked and he just seemed so sincere.  he even offered to walk the dogs with me, which was never a reality!  it was too good to be true.  when snap, before we could literally kiss and make up, he started going into some new studio equipment he had purchased.  instantly my blood began cooking.  i am in the middle of reorganizing a joint pair finances because you supposedly could not find a job and you can't pay your student loans and now you show up here. . . this is all very suspect.
i realized (in my dream) he had shown up as per usual, because he needed to help financially.  he even had sort of an evil glint in his eye when i looked closer.  there was no good there.  kind of went nuts in my dream.  a lot of screaming.  i thru him out and slammed the door.

the whole thing was horrifying.  probably less over the content which was all too familiar and more over the idea of him being in my real life, right now, in my house on 35th.  it was so, so much worse than just remembering the bad.  dont know what it could really mean, but i will tell you what i took from it.

have been feeling a little bad for myself the last few days and honestly a little depressed about things.  but man o man my life is so much better than being drug down by that  man ever again.  no matter what state i am in now, it is better than being tied up in knots over absolutely everything and not being able to function normally because i can't seem to make my husband happy.  no more constant moving about trying to find something that would never be found. he completely missed the real joy and zest for imperfect and beautiful life that was ours for the taking.  he just didnt' feel comfortable enough in his own skin to love anyone else, let alone be happy with himself.

i know there will be other hard times in life.  but i now know that if i am willing to listen, i will never have to live like that again.  used to be afraid i would accidentally fall into that reality again by making a few wrong turns.  but no way! even in my dream, i recognized the signs and said h-e-double hockey sticks no!  get out and dont come back.

when i woke up my throat was scratchy, like i had been screaming.  i was just so grateful it was only a dream. thank you lord for delivering me to rockville, maryland this morning to work.  and not delivering me into the hands of constant dissatisfaction for the rest of my life.

think this situation has been a little more traumatic than i was willing to admit.
glad to be out.

driving down the GW parkway to work.  it takes forever, but my commute is cool.  the trees are amazing for fall.  we are about ready for snow i think.  phew!

fasting and none too soon.

obviously we are not talking about food.  maybe someday that will be a useful tool, but these days that would just make me bitter. =)
talking about money actually.  i haven't exactly been sticking to a budget.  to be fair most of the things have been long overdue necessities that i figured might not happen again for awhile.  cleaning out storage unit, getting a functioning vehicle, gloves and hat for winter.  goofy, but essential.
so sunday, i decided i am pretty prepared so i better stop spending and start saving.
god forbid my renters give notice and i have pay them their deposit back right now. oops.
couldn't have been better timing!  i opened up my checking account to print a statement for the trustees (judges who decide my financial fate) and boom, i have 96 dollars to my name.
not bad.  i have groceries and gas, clothes and such.  but a little less than i would normally feel comfortable with!! geez.
so fast i must!  no more le pain quotidien trips for awhile.  every time i save myself the trip (usually food related) i will save that 20 bucks i would have dropped on dinner/brunch/lunch.  think i will even go ghetto and get a jar.
banks can be kind of fickle when things go array.

no more dollar therapy.  its so unfortunate.  it was so effective.  but i have to find a better way to therapize myself for the future.  and there will be some living without.  i can do it!! still get to eat and got a couple trips planned to see people.  i have nothing to complain about.  just getting down to brass tacks.

a few deep breaths and i am off for the real deal of living on less.

pretty funny, dr. harkins sermon this week on was on the potential of less. . .sort of embarrassing how well god knows me and has got my back. . .he made gideon go from 32,000 troops to 300.  he didn't want the men to be able to boast of their own strength.  he wanted to be plain and clear that HE and only HE was able to defeat the Midianites.  Not by Might, Nor by Power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord.  Zechariah 4.6
goodness gracious.  i am just hoping i am down to 300 now.  =)

^{Gideon defeats the Midianites
Judges 7:1-7
1} Early in the morning, Jerub-Baal (that is, Gideon) and all his men camped at the spring of Harod. The camp of Midian was north of them in the valley near the hill of Moreh. ² The LORD said to Gideon, “You have too many men. I cannot deliver Midian into their hands, or Israel would boast against me, ‘My own strength has saved me.’ ³ Now announce to the army, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.’” So twenty-two thousand men left, while ten thousand remained.

 ⁴ But the LORD said to Gideon, “There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will thin them out for you there. If I say, ‘This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say, ‘This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.”

 ⁵ So Gideon took the men down to the water. There the LORD told him, “Separate those who lap the water with their tongues as a dog laps from those who kneel down to drink.” ⁶ Three hundred of them drank from cupped hands, lapping like dogs. All the rest got down on their knees to drink.

 ⁷ The LORD said to Gideon, “With the three hundred men that lapped I will save you and give the Midianites into your hands. Let all the others go home.” ⁸ So Gideon sent the rest of the Israelites home but kept the three hundred, who took over the provisions and trumpets of the others.

waiting for the green line home last night after our little event at arena stage.  

office images (my company) did the furniture for this project

nothing i love more than glass and wood texture, now add curves.  ahh. . .

wondering if bing thom (architect) would mind designing some updates to my little shoreline house?

was so refreshing to see some great architecture at the amazing new theater company.  probably doesnt hurt that the architect is from vancouver bc. . .the metro stations are pretty cool too.  always liked their old school acoustic techniques and shapes.  driving is overrated sometimes.

dylan, skates and jose.

went skating with mari at her little cousin, Dylan's Birthday party in Laurel.  it was so fun!  she says, why do we not do this all the time?! seriously, why dont we?
adults falling to the floor and having to be rescued by not one, but 5 emt's and actually rolled of the floor on a stretcher.  (surely that guy was just in need of attention. . .)
to 14 year old skate referees that enforced the law to a "t" in every instance.  maureen got kicked out of the 4 corners game for cheating.  i thought it was really funny.  when her number got rolled.  she politely skated to another corner to continue playing.  ahh, but no!  the striped shirt quickly spotted her, pointed and escorted her off the rink with the other losers.  lets see, i got in trouble for taking pictures while skating, wearing my sweatshirt around my waist (it was hot!) and racing with a little kid.
mari form tackled a little darling named diondre.  i am positive that 9 year old will relive that joy for many years to come. he got up with a huge smile on his face.
then there was jose.  that kid was awesome.  mari, jose and i played tag for the last 15 minutes and left jose permanently "it". ahh. . .it was so great.
next year, when i turn 33 (yes the age of jesus), i am having a huge 70's roller skate party at Lynnwood Roll a Way.  So get ready!

mari got me dancing like silly fool on the skating rink.  purple sweatshirt.  jose is the dark haired kid behind me with the grey tshirt.

i am a terrible video-er, but whatever.  i captured something. =)

this is the mass of howard county firefighters that came to rescue the dad that fell and just couldn't get up.  according to the funny kid at right, and the firefighter we asked this happens all the time.  atleast every tuesday  afternoon at the senior skate.  seriously 5 rescuers for a sprained ankle?  dude we laughed, hope they were laughing too.

peonies

ever seen peonies in bud state?  they are really pretty.  round and joyous.  but nothing exotic.  

as they bloom though, you are in for a royal treat. 

their layers start unfolding and you get to see more and more depth.  i always wonder if it will ever stop blooming.  usually its over a week of new layers being opened up to the sunshine each day. they unfold huge and gracious blossoms, until finally. ...

the center of the flower is exposed.  each one a little different, but every one almost surreal and gorgeous.  you just can't believe they started out as that little bud on the bush.  i am in total awe every time a peony puts on a show.

i feel like this amazing flower.  started out nice, but just a bud on a pretty bush.  as the weeks go by, i am slowing unfolding, petal by petal, getting little pieces of myself back.  oddly enough its a much less complex beauty that has set in in my life.  things are slowing down and opening up wide.  

i have felt a little bad about letting go of some of the things i felt contained status.  including being married to a not very nice husband.  at least i had a nice little rock on my finger.  ya know?

but i have been so worn out by all this status over that past years.  trying so hard to keep up a show of house and cars and nice happy couple.

i have been ashamed that things fell off the side of a cliff, never to return.  will i ever be whole again?

this morning i was looking thru some pictures of a recent furniture trade show (thank you Humanscale) and ran across something phenomenal.  Leonardo Da Vinci said.    Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.  

that statement just made me stop.  how true.  simple things make such a huge impact on me.  real relationships with people. a little extra time.  sweet coffee at le quotidien.  sunshine when i get home from work.  and little clean english basement with not crazy yellow on the walls. dogs who seem to think i am the greatest thing since sliced bread for no good reason.  a mom who calls just to tell me she loves me.

these are the things that really matter.

meanwhile the complexities and former status quo es are getting forgotten on along side the path.  because honestly none if gave me a future and a hope.  but these little beautiful things seem to help me along everyday.   

please God, give me continued appreciation for the simple and sophisticated weave of my little life.  

me and b at bens next door with mari and janet on saturday night.

sweetness.

pride

i might have been a shade uneasy about giving up my german status.  not because it has been a dear or lovely car.  it does look nice on the outside and drives like a dream.  at least when its not broken.  which does tend to happen about every other month to the tune about a $1000.  yep.  i said $1000.  month before last it was an alternator.  this month its a heater core.  just getting in the drivers seat makes my heart palpitate.  how many $$$ will appear on my dashboard this week?

so with a little convincing by dad and my attorney, i decided that a cheap old honda would do me better for more predictable expenses.

if you drive down 35th st, you notice something funny.  a lot of northern european cars parked on the street.  the various neighbors in my row have an audi, 2 volvos, saab, bmw, another bmw.  the exception is the student girl in the next english basement.  she drives a civic. =)  it was kind of nice when i moved in with my mom car, passat.  it fit in with the grown ups in the neighborhood.  i think i might have been a tinsy bit prideful.  after all the talk about not wanting to be a part of the obnoxious, nose up, gtown crew.  it was nice not to get stared at for a broke down old car.

now i had to go back to that.  really who freaking cares?  i dont, i swear.  but i want people to take me seriously an having a nice german car helps sometimes.  but, i am aware of easing financial pain and that definitely won out.  was just dreading looking like a kid again.

on saturday i found a 95 Accord.  it was very well cared for and only $2300!  so i knew i couldn't pass it up.  bought it and have faced a couple of oddities (weird tires and a busted wheel baring)  still much less than a single repair on my grown up vehicle.

as i parked in front of the house, i realized it was actually really cute.  and a joy to drive.  and it has a sunroof, decent little stereo.  ac and heat works.  no body damage and it has nice wheels.  i stopped and took a picture.  i was proud of my old honda accord.

how did i ever get talked into paying so much for a car and convinced that making that many repairs and payments was worth it!!!

so here is my new adult car.  more overall a grown up vehicle i'd say, than my fancy passat.
thank you Lord for helping me find a decent car to drive, even though i was a little prideful about the loss of my german title.