its sunday and i am back behind the desk at the allegro. really not too bad of a day, but sundays i always seem to feel a little sorry for myself. dumb i know. but its when i miss my pacific people and some of the things in my old life. like my cute house in shoreline, that most likely i will never live in again. or my mom for lunch when are both supposed to be working. dad for a wednesday run up cable line with nani in tow. costa for an happy hour on the sofa with max in their living room in queen anne. the little things that made life so great when things were so bad.
now those little things aren't as available, but on the whole, life is actually quite a bit better.
i dont live in doubt on whether i am loved anymore. i know i am.
i dont worry about being alone all the time. i just feel present. honestly being "present" for your own life and understanding His love for you is about all you could ask for. it is by far best gift ever. all though i forget that about every other second. just wanted leave myself a written reminder.
here is my little bible study for today. . .
jeremiah (29) wrote a letter to the exiles when they got kicked out of jerusalem and relegated to babylon.
funny how these little verses we repeat so often used to seem so trite. the whole story is a lot more interesting. he said don't wait to be fruitful and prosper. he actually says to "increase in number. do not decrease." dont die. keep carrying the torch! then when the time is right i will come and rescue you.
i am by no means in exile, but i do feel like i am in a little bit of a holding tank. this passage makes a lot of sense to me these days.
4 This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: 5 "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.6 Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. 7 Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." 8 Yes, this is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says: "Do not let the prophets and diviners among you deceive you. Do not listen to the dreams you encourage them to have. 9 They are prophesying lies to you in my name. I have not sent them," declares the LORD.
10 This is what the LORD says: "When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my gracious promise to bring you back to this place. 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity. [b] I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile."
was looking for something on my facebook photo albums and realized how instantly life seemed to open up and start getting good right around january 2009, right when the walls were falling down around me.
God is good. God is great. I have faith that he sees my future and has a beautiful plan for me wherever I am heading.
context: me at work just now. double fisting coffee cups after my second 6am wake up. think i am supposed to be watching that security camera to the left. better jet!=)
I know the feeling about feeling like you are in a holding tank. It's hard to remember that this breath is the only one we can count on... and to not waste it (even at 6am after three cups of coffee :D)
ReplyDeleteAt least we aren't swimming along alone right??
Thanks for the encouragement today. I needed that.
-J