sweet fury

maybe not a possible thing. but that is what I feel.
my boss is late for our meeting so I have a few minutes to write.
much overdue too, think i am about to burst. . .

job is actually great.  for now.  working with us courts, smithsonian, great architectural firms. learning more and more about technology, marketing and social media.  

on friday, i overheard my coworker talking about date night.  kind of made fun of him, because he literally got married about a month ago.  I said, "isn't every night date night?" =).  they dont have any kids. . .he says,"actually we both work all the time".  huh?  "do you have a really big house or something?".  "nope." he says.  "this job doesn't really pay the bills."  "Que?!" I say.  "dont worry, you have a year of goodness while they pay your salary, then it drops off and you dont have enough to live. . ."

trying not to act shocked or flip out. . .but all the way home on friday, I couldn't get it out of my head.
thought i did a better job researching this job than that?  the gentleman in question more than does his fair share of business (2 million+).  why would he need 2 jobs?
started thinking about it and my other coworkers dont seem that well off either.
in fact the only people in my company that seem to be making money are the two principals.
why did i not notice this before????
i am going to have to arrange a business to lunch to talk commission structure with my coworkers.
when i did the math, it seemed to work out, but i do believe my unfortunate workmates are struggling financially.
despite selling millions of dollars in projects.. .

so i think that might be the root of my current stress.  can't shake it.  thought i was making sacrifices for a big fat bonus at the end of the year, but at this rate, I will be shopping for another gig before my year is up.

really not what i was hoping for, but maybe god is trying to do something here. . .just dont know.  feel very frustrated.  super exhausted with making moves.  just want to make good decisions and land and work hard and be happy.  is that possible?

good news is, mom is here and i get to go to seattle soon.  dc is an awesome place to adventure.  finding new things all the time.

just. . .
yuck on flux.

pS.  saw a wrinkle cream ad the other day and made sure to remember the name. 

i need some of that!  aging. sad.  never knew smiling all the time could be such a liability. . .

see what i mean?  just dropping of a proposal pack to the us courts building.  located just to the left of the white house.  believe it or not, this was not out of the way.  actually never seen the white house this close.  plus its about 78 and perfect today.  =)