think i might be a little contrary. no wait. I am not!

So for all of you laughing right now.  shut it! =)

Really don't mean to be opposite.  Actually I love to discuss options anytime, but when someone (por ejemplo mi hermana. . .) says it is not possible, or i cannot do it.  I fling myself to opposite side of the ring; gloves up and prepared to staunchly defend the possibility and my own ability to accomplish anything I want.  senseless or not.

Wondering why I don't just let some of this go?  Well I am learning to do that sometimes.  Certain people have a way engaging my edge with finite expertise.  Poor Malia, being one of them.  Really happy we decided not to live together right now.  okay, okay, okay.  This isn't all about Malia.  Several people I have met recently have brought this to the surface very quickly.  Instant response.

Don't mind being bossed or told what to do with confidence.  When I ask a question and the answer is "No"or "Not Possible". . .Prepare yourself.  You have just asked for a "discussion". 

I am sure this what my poor mom was thinking most of my childhood.  Bet she was happy when I finally turned 18.  Actually, the day I graduated high school my parents packed up and moved out of state. hmmmm. . .. .

Mom likes to remind me that she is not as willful as I see her.  That when I was born, I came with power punch of defiance that "forced" her to develop a strong constitution in order to prevent me from becoming a criminal at an early age.  Well I am not writing you from a 6x6.  That's good news.

Really don't think I am that bad.  Actually starting to feel pretty soft these days.  I care about people and how I affect them.  When it comes to me though, I do want to compete and win.  I am not playing for self esteem here.  I want the cash prize and a some props.   Ahh shoot.  What a rat. 

Guess this is multifaceted issue, especially as a moderately functioning adult.  I am rebellious.  Not ashamed.  Just came that way.  When someone says no that cannot be done, they have stared me straight in the eyes and issued a challenge that I shall conquer with full force.  Starting sound like 13 year old testosterone packed boy. . . Swear there are some good things about this.
I am super driven to achieve in the face of challenge. Almost complacent in the face of moderate circumstances.  Constantly seeking taxing situations.  That didn't sound right, but it is.

Don't think I do things simply because someone has challenged my abilities, but it does send me over the line.  Becomes a deciding factor.  That's not a great reason to do anything, let alone everything.

So you are sitting there wondering about my sanity and just plain ridiculous line of thinking.  Being challenged is one of the greatest parts of life for me.  In a good way of course.  Really prefer not to repeat some the challenges I am coming through now, but altogether I do thrive on a little bit of chaos.  Forces me to compete, think faster, work harder, be better.  Like a good work out for my mind and soul.



Its Friday and we are throwing surprise party for Jesse.  Will be fun.  You will see!
Think this blog is missing some stories.  So stories it is. .. til then.
m