Dang, I cannot seem to shut up lately. Mari says I seem more myself in the Post Disaster world. I was surprised to hear her say that, since she actually met me after I was already married. How does she know I am more myself? That means I was low. I don't remember feeling really bad, just sort of holding on. Wasn't really even a conscious effort, more like survival mode. I didn't think thru any of it while it was going on.
I hated being alone all the time. But I really dont remember feeling terrible. . .
When I was about 14, I fell off a 3 wheel ATV and ripped out the inside of my left calf. I remember rolling down a hill and getting up. Thought, "okay that wasn't too bad, I can stand up. Cool!" (did I mention I was wearing shorts, flipflops and no helmet. idiot kid.) I climbed up to the road and looked down to see a lot of flesh hanging out of my leg. hmmm. . .thats really gross. I walked about a half a mile back to the house and told Heather's stepmom that I probably needed to go to the hospital.
The look on her face was absolute horror! Not sure what was wrong with me. Didn't feel anything until the doctor poked me to numb up my leg for stitches.
Always thought I would keel over and die if something so awful every happened to me. But once again God is fricking amazing.
I had to have been in Shock when I cut my leg so badly. Can't think of anything traumatic about the experience. . . I was thinking, why is Heathers mom so nervous? I am alright, for goodness sake. The doctors were super scared to put my leg back together, because my parents weren't there to sign off. After an hour and a half, they decided hanging calf muscle was worse. Thank goodness. sheesh.
I was proud of my nasty stitches and the few they had to put inside to sew my calf muscle back in. It left a blood red scar the length of my lower left leg. Didn't stop me. I would wear shorts whenever possible to show it off.
One of my punk junior high friends asked me one day if I was embarrassed at such a large scar. No way! I was pleased to have survived the trauma and lived to tell it. huh. I am feeling a parallel here.
I do feel a weight has been lifted from me, especially in the passed month. Like I just woke up. The flood gates have opened wide and I just can't seem to get enough. Where have I been for the last 6 years?
me, janet, mari, and malia - sammie below
These days, I have 4 lovely lady friends that keep me occupied and stacked with plenty to talk about.
5 cute girls can come up with a lot of drama!! Couldn't ask for anything more right now.
God knew just what I needed and I am so grateful. I just can't keep my mouth closed. =)
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